Webs and Weaves

I am exhausted from trying to be a good friend, make life work for everyone and cause the least bit of stress and ego deflation as possible for those around me. I have decided that a person just cannot win that one; at sometime, the "dreck" will hit the fan. Why is it that eventually the most high maintenance friends will inevitably drain the dam, and then make it feel like it's all your fault? Just once could it not be all about them? In my efforts to deflect stress and disappointment from an old friend, I just stirred the pot and sit here now tonight without sleep wondering what the hell to do about it. Yes, I attempted to find a solution to a problem that would please everyone and ended up in a total abyss ... even being called a liar by someone who has know me to be truthful my whole life. After jumping to this persons aid so many times, I am baffled. Every time I received a drama filled email or phone call about how I "absolutely need to attend this or that new commercial scheme" or "sign up for a never fail endeavor", or "write a letter to save my job", to find out that it was really not the emergency portrayed but my friend in over-drive again. I feel such disappointment and would prefer to just go back to where all I did was be the friend to someone who could not help how they are wired and not expect any depth or intuition as to my friendship needs. It's just easier to be the friend with no expectations, That way, one is never disappointed, right? Thank God I have a daughter who is the kind of friend who gives as much as she takes with her pals. I hope she is as cherished by them as she is by me.
What a ramble...

It has been a while once again. I cannot seem to get by the doldrums and empty verbage even though I feel I have a lot to say. Not that it is meaningful to any reader, but more a therapeutic purging for me. One day soon I feel I will once again have the ability to write again. At the moment, it's just dull reporting without much meaning. I am about to come up with a book report forum to at least begin some kind of reparte' and hopefully a dialogue to lead me out of the fog. besos

I saw my daughter as a bride

Today my daughter tried on her dress for her wedding in May. It is simple and beautiful and she looks exactly as I imagined she might. She wears it with such assurance and confidence. She belongs in that dress marrying that fiance at that time and living the life they will fill with all their worldly experience they bring to the table as well as the ones they will gather together. She was radiant, but more than that, she looked to me like a long awaited novel by the best author in the world about to have the first page turned and read aloud to a very special audience. OK, that's a little out there, but as a avid story teller, and one who appreciates the wonder in a full life lived, she is soon to write her own story with a partner who will complete each chapter with her and add to the excitement of creating a life together. Life is good when those we love most get it right. Wow, what a moment for this old momma.

Back in the Kitchen

I've had a metamorphic experience in the kitchen of late. You know, when you get inspired for some reason or another to prepare foods not ordinarily on the menu. It all started Spring break when for the first time in a while, I had no travel plans to a sun my bones (almost translucent white by this time of year). The urge to smell wonderful mouth watering aromas come from my kitchen has not gone as yet.

My culinary resurrection began the Sunday of Spring break with some wonderful long term friends who enjoy strong and distinct flavors and have a real appreciation of good wine and sturdy flavors.

Dinner started with chilled prosecco and a salad of field greens, garbanzos, green onions, garlic, balsamic, EVOO and lemon juice. Our main course was Cioppino full of shell fish and delicate true cod served with garlic bread. It was succulent and delicious with the beautiful Barolo wine. Desert was chocolate, raspberry and vanilla frozen yogurt on a drizzle of crushed raspberries infused with berry liquor, a lemon biscotti, hot fudge/brandy drizzle, topped with fresh raspberries. Of course, lemoncello was served to "settle" the meal. My guests left at midnight, I did dishes until 1:00 which was great, as I was able to settle down, relax my cheeks sore from laughter, and savor the last half glass of lemoncello. Whew, what got into me anyway!

A few days went by and I developed the urge to build something I have always called a honeybee. I again haven't done it for a while, but got the "hungries" for it. Basically it is a rich yellow cake, split into fours and filled with almond liquor cream filling, honey and slivered almonds at each layer and on top, then dusted with powdered sugar. One of those things that doesn't hold well so must be eaten within the day...of course!

Dusting off old dishes and inventing a few new ones has continued until even last night when I pulled out the old rosemary pork never fail recipe but added some garlic sauteed greens and a new fix on cauliflower that I got from my daughters boyfriends family....it's so good. Cauliflower steamed til done, drained and then mashed with butter, sour cream, Parmesan cheese, garlic, salt and pepper. Holy cow! It's sort of faux mashed potatoes with a wonderful texture and taste (not lower in calories I fear) but a lovely change.

I did a fantastic five bean baked beans with sausage, (another friends recipe), Stuffed chicken breasts, Egg Plant Parmesan, tuna and egg tortilla (Spanish style), Bresolla, Albondegas, and an old fashioned Shepard's Pie.

I was reminded about a special chicken breast dish by "Life in the Second Half" that I hadn't made in at least 10 years. Of course, got right on it and fed my family a little trip down memory lane. Thanks for reminding me how great the flavors of artichoke infuse the chicken, potatoes and mushrooms. Yum!

I have to get off the everything sounds good kick and think about the fact that we are only a few months away from having to put on bathing suits at the pool in Sunriver. But....if you have any more irresistible meals I must cook, let me know. I am easily led astray.

A months shot!

I can't believe I haven't taken care of my blog better over the last weeks. I seem to have dropped off and felt no inspiration to create myself, rather follow some really good blog writers and make lame comments. Mi apologia!

I have hibernated during the rain month and while my spouse heals from his latest injury/surgery. It seems I am easily brought into a rut by am too lazy to pull myself from it. Thank goodness it is once again to begin my part time consulting job at a local high school and begin testing students for state proficiencies. I realize that idleness does not suit me at all. It is so easy to become uninspired and uninterested in life around you if all you see and hear emanates from CNN and the spouse (equally trapped) grousing about the state of the world. I don't believe I wish to play this game any more and have determined to come out of my cocoon. It is Spring in my book folks, no matter the actual state of the calendar.

My first number was to take my mom to see "Wicked". She loved it! At 86 years young, she has the ability to transport to fantasy, use her imagination, and have as much fun as anyone around her. We have had a long relationship of going to the Opera and Broadway touring shows, but have not been for sometime. This was a treat and we so enjoyed ourselves. This production was every bit as good as the last time it toured through. So much fun. I am a lucky person to still have a mom that enjoys life and is fully capable of consorting with me. Our husbands do not enjoy the "theatur"!

For my second number, I shall try to organize my thoughts onto note cards for a novel idea I have had rolling around in my brain for some time. Perhaps that will get it out of the dark locker and into the daylight. Along with this process, I am going to begin going around my beautiful town (yes, it is beautiful with amazing locations for fabulous mind adventures) in order to photograph and site in the story line; to generate texture and color to the characters still embryos in my imagination. Not a bad start, eh?

For my third number, I want to get my husband on a plane to somewhere other than here for a weekend or so. I think the change would do him good if he is comfortable enough with the "hippage" for a little journey. Car travel is a little to confining for his leg so he needs quick transport of an hour or two. Any ideas for someplace sunny that close? We'll see.

Now, I am off to the dentist and then to work. I love my work now as it is not daily compulsory attendance, and when it is, I know there is an end to it....not at all like when I worked full time and had days filled with some of the things I really did not like. I get to cherry pick the best parts of my old job and make it happen. How cool is that.

Obama

What a glorious morning for us in America and those people for hope and peace around the world. We watched with attention and pride as Obama took the oath of office and promised to restore to America it's place in the world. I believe that he will be a humanitarian leader to be trusted by the American people and the world at large as he moves through these next difficult years of repair and restatement of purpose. I have placed the flag of our nation on our porch for the first time since Bush invaded Iraq. I hope you had the opportunity to watch the new president and hear his words of hope and responsibility he has placed once again on the people of this country and the world. Though millions gathered on the mall in Washington, D.C., I have never seen such quiet and respectful appreciation for a leader in this nation. It was truley awe inspiring. The stories beginning to come from people standing in the masses to be a part of this moment are fabulous; people helping to carry the children of strangers to vantage points, strangers hugging one another, elders sharing with youngsters their personal stories of the civil rights movement, it goes on and on. Would love to hear from you and your thoughts if you did see any of the inauguration.

Let the healing begin!

My husband is home from his hospitalization with a new hip, good attitude toward healing, and being more than a good sport about his circumstance. I am so glad that the healing of this hip (they replaced the ball he broke off his femur with a lovely titanium orb) is painful, but doesn't seem to compare to the pain he had with his knee replacement last year. It has been a busy and stressful week or so but it feels like we are turning the corner on this drama. The drug induced fantasies have gone, along with their entertainment value. Forgive me, but I did find humor in the 3 am calls from the hospital asking me when I would be meeting him back in our hotel room in Boise, Idaho. La la land does have it's moments!

I am still dumbfounded by the behavior of the people at the Raccoon Lodge. The hospital, Dr's offices, rehabilitation organization have all had really rude phone calls with the management which is really strange under the circumstances. I guess I should not be surprised after they offered no help during the emergency; no phone call to 911, no employee assistance, no nothing. We were totally invisible to them. Obviously our insurance company wants to work with theirs but there is just no communication. I have washed my hands of the negative vibe from these folks and put it in the hands of the people who know what they are doing, ie insurance companies, medical business offices, etc. I also gave them the names and phone numbers slipped into my pocket the night of the incident by those kind folks who helped us get an ambulance for my husband and covered him with their coats as he lay half out the door in the rain.

So now we are in the rehab mode and have a pretty good schedule going. The therapists that come to the house are wonderful and very encouraging. My husband is re-rehabing the knee, at the same time getting the hip strengthened and working toward good health again. We are so lucky that he is progressing so well. Here's to the new year with good health and gratitude that the worse of it is behind us.