Mom had a birthday celebration at the house for dad yesterday to commemorate his 90th year. It was the culmination of birthday festivities for my three birthday people as seen in the previous blogs. Yesterdays gathering left me almost numb with contradictory feelings and ambivalence toward further extended family gatherings. To say it was bizarre doesn't really cut it.

First, it was great to see some of my parents oldest friends still with us and able to come celebrate the event. These people have been a part of my life since childhood, and to imagine that my parents have held these friendships since their childhoods boggles the mind. Their collective memories reflect early immigration, the great depression, WWII, live big dance bands, hard times, good times, and all in between. I looked around the room and for a moment saw them all as they had been; when laughter and wit and humor rang out from the backyard on Sherman street, Dad flaming up his first bar-b-q, Sam pouring wine, cards being played, and all of us "kids" running and screaming around he street playing "kick the can" out front of the house. Just for a second I saw this group of people together and imagined the voices of some of those missing from the group now, but it made me smile none the less.

There were second generation people there too (me included) and grandchildren as well. Those of us who are the children of the last of our parents generation have aged into our 50's and 60's with the knowledge of our parents ties to each other, flaws and all, and have that to share as time goes by. Also, with the grand children came the bizzaro part of the event, the part that made me shake my head and decide I prefer the fairy tale still in my mind about the old days to what I see with some of the "youngsters". Some have received little to no direction from their families and reflect that "loose canon" effect. I feel they have missed the benefit of having shared moments listening to the old farts talk around the poker table, or the women kibtzing in the kitchen, and the cousins playing in the yard together. It was strange. Then again, the strangest of all was the rude exit one of the relatives took from the party....a true "parting shot" as it were.

Seems there has been an ax to grind for some years that only now surfaces. Perceived slights administered to that branch of the family no one was aware of until now. A missed invitation Apparently on my part) to an event for LJ to some of the cousins and a mystery phone call that I swear never came to me. I am astounded that nothing was said until now, and only 4 years later the reason for my parents being slighted comes out. The Aunt and Uncle say on their way out the door, "It's a shame your nieces weren't invited to come to Uncle Ray's 90th, but they received no invitation and will not come where they are not invited." "After all they were not invited to LJ's graduation party!" I was so suprised, I said "Whaaat?" My aunt tells me she called to see if they could come to LJ's party and I told her there would be no room! are you kidding me....I would not forget such a conversation. Never Happened! That they have been avoiding my parents for this long is beyond me....if they perceived this slight, why take it out on them? Just weird. I felt totally validated by another guest who heard the parting shot and thought it was the rudest thing they had ever heard.

The coup d gras was watching my brothers offspring spend time together having conversation as adults for the first time ever... The whole event made me feel very skizophrenic!

My conclusion: Thank God We had the wonderful celebration at Piazza Italia! It was wonderful and had all the warm fuzzies. LJ had a fabulous party thrown by her Josh that was the best she ever enjoyed with her friends. Good job Josh! I will count Sunday's bash for Dad as something Mom needed to do for Dad, and chance for them to celebrate with all the important people in their lives, and something I wish I had somehow missed!

Twenty-Six years later! The Birthday celebration goes on. This one held at Piazza Italia was by far the most fun we have had celebrating the big three since we traveled to Italy to have Dad's 80th in his original village ten years ago. In some ways, it was even better because this little bit of Italian ambiance exists right here in "P"town and is available to us whenever we need a reality check. It feels like Italy, where the company, the meal, the conversation creates a timeless comfort zone. The realities of life become so clear...don't waste this good time thinking about what's next...just enjoy life as it is.
Happy Birthday to Youz!

The Best Day of the Year!

26 years ago today (at 4:46 pm) my beautiful baby girl was born. It just so happens (and by total coincidence) that she was born on her father and grandfathers birthday too! She has been a source of joy and pride to me her entire life and I love that she gets honored today with good wishes and fun and games. As a child she was thrilling to watch grow through her stages of life, learning and applying lessons, managing peoples hearts, and flashing that beautiful heartfelt smile. As an adult, she is thoughtful and insightful, and just the most fun to be around of anyone I know. She is the best thing I ever did in my life and has spread her joy to all who know her. Happy Birthday baby girl! The mother is resting well.

What would you do?

If you were walking along and spotted a load of cash laying off the side of the path, after you counted it a screamed a little, would you keep it?

If it was a million dollars in $100 bill's what are the chances that the drug lord or mafia magnet would hunt you down like a dog and pull your tongue from your head until you gave it back?

If it was $800 in cash, good chance nobody dangerous made the sidewalk deposit so probably safe to say that if no one claimed it in a reasonable period of time, you keep it. Nothing to sneeze at.

Our trip to the Lottery office sort of worked out to be the $800 kind, and while the daydreaming of what I might do with the 4.2 mil went up in a poof (from Manolo's to Keds) it's still better than not winning anything. Our vacation in Sun River will now be FREE! I must say the juice one gets going in anticipation of what that little piece of paper might be worth is a rush. Could have looked it up on line, but then where would have been the drama in that. I consider this just a practice run for when I do get the BIG ONE. Hold on Lindz, that school loan is still top of my list!

Finishing Hell Week!

Once again I am experiencing the joys of remodeling our home; unfortunately, this is a repeat performance to fix mistakes made on the hardwood floors during the actual remodel project; which means I have zero patience and there is virtually no room for error in this process if I wish to keep my nerves inside my skin! We moved into my parents home (where there is no such thing as a silent moment), brought the cat and the dog along, and hunkered down for our two day wait. During the stay at parent-ville, my daughter got in her first car accident and scared hell out of me( a moms worst nightmare), I caught a cold, and haven't slept well in days. I need my own bed! It's soft and luxurious and large and spacious and I need it!

I spoke frequently with the contractor who pledged to fix the original problem of improper spacing in the floor and was assured of the fine progress they were making. We came back to our home three days later in horror to find that while the original spacing problem had been replaced with a beautiful finish, it was laid over over big gouges they had sanded into the middle of the kitchen floor. How, one might ask, did workmen, or "craftsmen" as the call themselves, not see this before the finish went on?

Holy Merde! Back to the parents chirpville for another two nights (this should be the last night), hoping all will be well in the morning. So I find myself sitting in the driveway where I can get a internet connection and blog and bitch away about the interruption of my life yet again for work that should have been long done, looking at the sawdust that somehow creeps through plastic draped shields, and wonder how many days it will take to suck all the crap out of the furniture and pots and pans, etc. POOP!

On the hopeful side, perhaps some luck is finally coming our way. My husband came how with a winning lottery ticket! How much you may ask. ME TOO. The lottery person says they cannot pay out the amount won at the 7-11, we must bring it to the Salem office to collect. That sounds really good don't you think? Well, it could be anywhere between $600. and 4.2 million! A spread I know however either end is more than we started with from friend lottery. But my imagination is having a hard time switching day dreams...what a difference between, say, paying for a birthday party for my family and lets say buying a new car, paying off our daughters school loans, fixing up everyone we love with a debt free start, getting a place in Spain or Italy. See the problem...you cannot dream of new manolo's on the $600 budget!

More later after we return from Salem!