Whew! It's been a week since bringing my daughter's wedding festivities to a conclusion and I am just beginning to float back down to some semblance of routine life. Wow, I had no conscious notion of how much of the last months were dominated by thinking, rethinking and arranging for her big day. The two of them were fabulous to work with, their ideas and wishes clear; so planning their event was a fun adventure. It was a joy and pleasure to do, because she and her "husband" are such wonderful and loving people; to see them and the joy they shared taking their vows was the stuff that makes a parent feel peace in their hearts. They had FUN at their wedding! They smiled, laughed and fully participated in the ceremony. They love and adore one another while sharing respect for each others as individual's as well. I am one lucky momma.

Webs and Weaves

I am exhausted from trying to be a good friend, make life work for everyone and cause the least bit of stress and ego deflation as possible for those around me. I have decided that a person just cannot win that one; at sometime, the "dreck" will hit the fan. Why is it that eventually the most high maintenance friends will inevitably drain the dam, and then make it feel like it's all your fault? Just once could it not be all about them? In my efforts to deflect stress and disappointment from an old friend, I just stirred the pot and sit here now tonight without sleep wondering what the hell to do about it. Yes, I attempted to find a solution to a problem that would please everyone and ended up in a total abyss ... even being called a liar by someone who has know me to be truthful my whole life. After jumping to this persons aid so many times, I am baffled. Every time I received a drama filled email or phone call about how I "absolutely need to attend this or that new commercial scheme" or "sign up for a never fail endeavor", or "write a letter to save my job", to find out that it was really not the emergency portrayed but my friend in over-drive again. I feel such disappointment and would prefer to just go back to where all I did was be the friend to someone who could not help how they are wired and not expect any depth or intuition as to my friendship needs. It's just easier to be the friend with no expectations, That way, one is never disappointed, right? Thank God I have a daughter who is the kind of friend who gives as much as she takes with her pals. I hope she is as cherished by them as she is by me.
What a ramble...

It has been a while once again. I cannot seem to get by the doldrums and empty verbage even though I feel I have a lot to say. Not that it is meaningful to any reader, but more a therapeutic purging for me. One day soon I feel I will once again have the ability to write again. At the moment, it's just dull reporting without much meaning. I am about to come up with a book report forum to at least begin some kind of reparte' and hopefully a dialogue to lead me out of the fog. besos